cool yiddishe mama

"He Can't Study Torah if He's in the Torah!"

2008-12-08T20:42:00.004-05:00

I am ready to admit it. I am raising children who question things their teachers tell them. Cool yiddishe maidel is in kitah alef now, so she brings home her parsha sheet for us to, ideally, discuss at the Shabbat table. What ends up happening, in reality, is she starts to tell me about some midrash involving the principal characters. I will inevitably ask her if this story came from the Torah,

Tznius: The "Big Idea" in Bais Yaakov Curricula

2008-12-08T20:08:00.003-05:00

A question many teachers ask themselves when they are creating lesson plans or units of study concerns the "big idea" that they want their students to walk away when it's all over and take with them. Of course, there are objectives and standards that need to met as well. During my "first career" years as a Judaics teachers, we were urged to create units of study that encouraged the "big ideas"

Aren't Manners Part of Good Middot?

2008-12-08T19:23:00.002-05:00

Last Monday, I walked into class and did my daily ritual of asking the head teacher the plans for the day. (I work with a special needs child and I am often required to make on-the-spot modifications to her activities.) The teacher told me that another General Studies teacher wanted to come in and speak to the girls. A minute later, the teacher walked in. She works with the older girls on Reading

Why We Need "Stam Kosher"

2008-12-08T10:03:00.006-05:00

Last Thursday, I was pressed for time and bought my Shabbat needs at the local grocery store which stocks Meal Mart and Empire products in tray packs. I purchased a package of "fresh" stew meat (at $10.59/lb) and on the bottom, there was a sticker stating product origin: "Product of USA, Canada, Mexico, Costa Rica, Uruguay." Rubashkin's shutdown has majorly impacted everyone. It's a reminder of

Disappointing News for the anti-Chumra Frum Jew

2008-12-08T08:33:00.003-05:00

For some time now, I have been advocating a "lower tier" kashrut level for people who either can not afford (or no longer want to bother with) mehadrin prices/standards. This is already being done in homes and "modern" schools who use chalav stam dairy products. Now, more than ever, there needs to be a call for the return of "stam kosher" meat. There used to be "stam kosher" meat. (The word "

Fleish-a-phobes

2008-12-06T21:52:00.003-05:00

How to know if you are a fleish-a-phobe:* You avoid french fries or falafel at the meat restaurant since the chicken is fried in the same fryer.* You panic upon discovering the "pareve" cholent ACTUALLY had some meat hidden in there (but not much).* You have to justify becoming "fleishig".* You count down the number of minutes before you are "pareve" again.* You get depressed when you have to

"Guest Post" from "Dutch" on the State of the Economy

2008-12-02T22:38:00.007-05:00

"Dutch" is an American ex-patriate living in the Netherlands for the past seven and a half years. He is well-read on many topics, boasts an IQ of 151 (and just as proud that MENSA rejected him, since they require a 161 IQ), and is a keen observer of his surroundings. "Dutch" was blogging before it became "cool" (he paid out of pocket for the name rights to a URL back in 2002) but is quite

Another Shiddukh Test...

2008-12-02T18:31:00.004-05:00

Hattip: Frum Satire (This post was inspired by him and a recent conversation with Barak about hamische, aka "frummy" brands and their poor quality.)A shiddukh "test" also apparently making the rounds involves pantry inspection. It's one thing to judge someone by the hechsherim they use, but something almost surreal to put emphasis on how much poor-quality food people will purchase.How this works.

The December Dilemma, Part 1: The Celebration of Chanukah as a Jewish Subsitute for Christmas or as our D-day?

2008-12-01T18:14:00.002-05:00

A sad statistic bouncing around in Jewish education circles concerns the contact hours the average American Jewish child is given towards chinukh. [Day school grads and parents, this refers to "supplementary schools", most commonly known as Hebrew school.] From consecration until confirmation*, the typical American Jewish child (at best) will have a third grader's understanding of Judaism. No

Is Thanksgiving a Jewish Holiday?

2008-11-26T20:19:00.002-05:00

Yes and No.Yes: Many cultures have a harvest festival. One of the holidays attributed to the Thanksgiving model is Sukkot (or so the Hebrew school myth goes).No:It's an American holiday. While the early presidents had days of Thanksgiving proclaimed, it did not remain permanent until 1863 when Lincoln established it during the dark days of the War Between the States. We should be thankful to G-d

When It's No Longer Platonic

2008-11-26T01:56:00.002-05:00

A thought-provoking post by JS on DovBear has prompted a long discussion about platonic relationships and their connection to Judaism. "Modern" Jews see no problem with male-female friendships. I accept that all of us are born with a yetzer ha-ra and it is up to us to learn how to control ourselves. The part I found most interesting in these recent posts (the point had been made by Tikun Olam)

Book Review...When Organizing Isn't Enough: SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life

2008-11-24T12:27:00.005-05:00

Like most people, I am constantly on the search for the next "big thing" that will fix my problems, to which I have no problem admitting. For years and years, it would be diets (a topic for another blog post). Another area I have felt a strong need to work on has been my organizational/time management skills. I have read literally dozens of books on the subject. I would take their suggestions,

I'm BAAAAACK!

2008-11-24T07:46:00.002-05:00

Over the next few weeks, I'Y'H, I will be re-vamping my blog to focus on my myriad of interests, all of which reflect on my many facets: mother, educator, and observant Jewish commentary on the absurdity of chumrot. A few updates on my life since the last time we "spoke":* Both the "cool yiddishe maidel" and the "light of my life" are going to school. CYM is in first grade at the local MO/RZ

I REALLY AM ALIVE!

2008-03-06T09:40:00.002-05:00

I don't think that anyone is checking my blog anymore since it has been six months since I have posted anything (the equivilant of death in the blog world). However, if you are, I have been taking a break from J-blogging my friend Barak at Am Kshe Oref (http://amksheoref.blogspot.com/) is better suited in this area. Please feel free to check his blog as well as my new one, Living on a (

More on Shmirat Ha-lashon

2007-09-03T08:19:00.000-04:00

B'H, cool yiddishe mama now has two new jobs, when a little over a month ago, I was seriously worried about my parnasah. I resigned from the Talmud Torah where I had worked for eight years because 1) I was not happy with the changes he had made to my schedule and 2) he hired as his assistant someone who I KNOW is not a good person for me to work for because she tried to ruin my teaching career

What is Frumkeit (really)?

2007-08-15T23:55:00.000-04:00

Rabbi Maryles wrote a wonderful post about how praiseworthy it is to be a BT, yet we/they are treated as "defacto second class citizens" by many in the FFB world. For example, in our community, there is this FFB named "Golda".Golda is the youngest child in a family full of rabbis, educated in a top-notch Beis Yaakov, and eventually married the "most frum" of a MO family (her brother-in-law was

When They Were Young...

2007-08-15T23:22:00.000-04:00

This post was inspired by a conversation I had today with one of my high school English teachers. She has since retired and is an adjunct professor in Holocaust Studies (as well as frum). I partially give her credit for where my life headed, as she was one of the first frum people I met that showed me it was possible to be a strong Jew and be "worldly". A large portion of my hashkafah came under

Parnasah Update

2007-07-26T18:40:00.000-04:00

For those of you who know me "in the real world", I have been having job tzarot for some time. After a rather stormy transition of directors, I decided to walk away from the Talmud Torah I have called home for eight years. In a nutshell: Reform rabbi who rents space in the school for her congregation led a campaign to have me removed for my "influence" over the students. With no just cause to not

2007-07-25T20:52:00.000-04:00

This tag was from Barak, who got it from DovBear. It was about Tisha B'Av. Here are my answers: Fast: While I am not “small” and do have ample reserves, I find this fast to be the hardest (see Insights). Insights: · “I’m a ‘bad Jew’ because

MEME part deux

2007-07-22T23:05:00.000-04:00

The Rules:Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves.The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged.8 FUN FACTS/ HABITS ABOUT ME...1. I AM ADDICTED TO THE WRITTEN WORD.

Book Tag

2007-07-22T22:09:00.000-04:00

My friend Barak tagged me...Look at the list of books below: Bold the ones you’ve read. Mark in blue the ones you want to read. Cross out the ones that you wouldn't touch with a 10 foot pole (or use red coloring). Finally, italicize the ones you've never heard of.I've read some of these, hated some, and wouldn't touch some, but there aren't any on the list I'm planning to read...See below to find

On Friendship...

2007-07-08T23:15:00.000-04:00

To my three readers:A month and a half ago, after almost two years of feuding with my mother-in-law about this and that, she finally said that she wants us "to be friends". I told that it would not be possible right now because essentially I don't trust her! When cool yiddish papa and I were dating, she engaged in rampant lashon ha-ra about us with her friends (which she blatantly denied after he

At a Crossroads

2007-07-03T08:01:00.000-04:00

I just realized that it has been over 2 months since I last time that I posted, so I guess I should let the blog world know that I am alive and well (B'H). * Cool Yiddish Papa and I have successfully moved out of our other neighborhood and managed to sell our house (even in this market). While we could have made more of a "profit" by waiting to sell, we decided that our happiness (and cool

Help Wanted!

2007-04-19T21:30:00.000-04:00

Community after-school Hebrew program is seeking a Hebrew and Judaics studies teacher. Applicants should not be "too religious" and should be willing to step aside should the powers that be determine that you are "not right" for them, despite a successful teaching record and legions of loyal students as well as their families.Perhaps that is the ad that my school should put in the newspaper. The

Post Pesach Re-Hash (one week later)

2007-04-17T16:03:00.000-04:00

A struggle we all have as halakhically observant Jews is finding the line between halakhah, minhag, and chumrah. I do not claim to even have the first answer on the distinctions, but I do think that it is important for people to learn them. Being frum today involves knowing these boundaries and respecting them. Due to the Shoah, entire communities (and along with it, their m'sorot) are gone. The

ZACHOR

2007-04-17T08:58:00.000-04:00

A large part of being a Jew it seems is the obligation to have a perfect memory. We are to remember what G-d did for us in Mitzrayim (Pesach), that as slaves we never had a day off (Shabbat), and that in almost every generation some "bad guy" has risen up to try to annihilate us, spiritually or literally (Tisha B'Av, Chanukah, Purim, and Yom Ha-Shoah). As a teacher and a parent I struggle with

2007-04-17T08:30:00.000-04:00

A brief aside...Those who know me in the "real world" know that I have not been blogging for a while because my husband and I have left "galut", what we affectionately call our charedi neighborhood in which we lived for eight years. Someone said that we should have known where we were moving at the time, but not realizing my husband's dream to own a house that we could afford (at the time)

"Chanokh lana'ar al pi darko"

2007-04-17T08:23:00.000-04:00

["Teach a child according to his way", --sefer Mishleh] In an earlier post, I have commented on parents who have handed over parental control to rebbes out of a lack of confidence in their own parenting. Now, I am looking at this passuk from a different perspective. What does it mean to be "fair"? Does it mean to treat everyone equally (including ignoring each person's unique situations) or does

Something's Gotta Give...

2007-02-28T22:25:00.000-05:00

Hila commented recently about not seeing me blog lately. Well, Hila, between children, work, grad school, housework, and preparing to sell a house (in order to close on a new one), blogging had to fall by the wayside. First of all, I am a peasant with dial-up. CYP wants to economize and hold out for DSL until we get to our new house. (It's a blessing in disguise. I might end up living on the

I'm Alive (and Well)...B'H!

2007-02-25T18:28:00.000-05:00

I have been extremely busy these past couple months and have had NO time to blog!CYP and I are making preparations to leave galut and join our friends in "the other neighborhood". Packing is quite a chore. Part of me just wants to chuck everything and start over. Who knew that we had SO MUCH STUFF in such a little house!A favor to ask all my loyal readers who still check on my blog and haven't

Every Great Man Must Fall...

2006-12-29T00:10:00.000-05:00

except chas v'shalom, if he is your rav and you put him on the proverbial pedestal.As I might said before, I was not m'kareved by any particular rabbi or kiruv group. I just chose to be frum and did a TON of studying. In some ways, it has been extra "footwork" for us. We still go to the rabbi from the egalitarian minyan for ethical and family conflict issues because we are close to him. For "

Meme from Chana (aka Jewess with Horns)

2006-12-24T19:43:00.000-05:00

Read the ones in purple for commentary. The ones in black are "no".01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink.02. Swam with wild dolphins.03. Climbed a mountain. [Like Chana, lots of times in a car. On foot? What is considered the minimum height for a mountain? I've done some small cliffs.]04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive.05. Been inside the Great Pyramid.06. Held a tarantula.07. Taken a

On Hair Care and Peeking Rabbis...

2006-12-24T17:19:00.000-05:00

A couple weeks ago, I was sheitel-shopping with "Dina", a friend of mine who, several months ago, completed her Orthodox conversion. We've known each other since my days in the egalitarian minyan that we have since both outgrown. We had discussed the topic of hair-covering on several occasions. I have always relied comfortably on my "tefach" rule, even when wearing a fall, hat or tichel. She

A New Take on Chanukah

2006-12-16T22:06:00.000-05:00

I am a Hebrew school teacher cursed with "not enough time" to give my talmidim some Yiddishkeit to even out the other aspects of their lives. Chanukah takes on a larger significance than it should due to this situation.Is it because, to many of these kids, this is one of the most well-known (if not most observed) of our holidays by both Jews and non-Jews?Is it because my "half and halfs" (their

On Being a "Frumpy Frummie"

2006-11-14T01:44:00.000-05:00

These are my long-delayed comments on the phenom known as a "hot Chanie", which is a young frum woman that "skirts" tznuit rules in the way she dresses, etc.One of the most basic concepts every ba'al(at) teshuvah encounters is tzniut (modesty). When I was presented with the idea by some of my more frum acquaintances, it was defined as lengths of hemlines, shirt sleeves, and coverage of "sexy"

(Blog Round-up) I Have NOTHING Interesting to Say...

2006-11-13T23:14:00.000-05:00

so I won't say it.I have not dropped out of the blog world, just that there has not been anything interesting to report lately. I'm going to work, attending grad school, and raising my children. Everywhere I go, I am looking for worthwhile topics; I just seem to be suffering from writer's block.My fellow blogger, Esther, was very fascinated by the topic of "hot chanies" on Ask Shifra. This seems

Teaching Your Children about Boundaries

2006-09-20T10:13:00.000-04:00

Monday night as I gathered with other cool yiddishe mamas to talk about our kids and our weight loss goals, one of the ladies told us about something rather discomforting that happened to one of her children on Friday. Please use this incident to guide yourself and your children in what to do should, chas v'shalom, something like this should happen to you:Tova lives up in the other neighborhood.

Break down the niches

2006-09-07T01:03:00.000-04:00

I want to open this post by saying something controversial: niches are safe. The easiest and most comfortable thing to do when confronted with something or someone new, perhaps different is to put the concept or the person into an already familiar category.I started down the path of frumkeit ten years ago and I "crossed the line" officially seven years ago. I chose that date because that was when

People in Glass Houses...

2006-08-14T00:03:00.000-04:00

shouldn't throw stones.As all of us go through life, each of us is thrown our share of tsurris. As I focus on my own problems with my family situation, being a wife, mother, student, teacher, friend, and daughter; I try and keep focus by realizing that G-d doesn't give us more than we can't handle (although it may not seem like that at the time!).Someone I know has children with all sorts of

Where Do Some Traditions Come From...

2006-08-05T22:52:00.000-04:00

And How Do We Get Rid of Them?[From now until Rosh Hashanah, I intend to make many of my posts about how to use the time during Elul to make us stronger people and better Jews. If we work on one aspect, the other will grow as well.] Stop me if you heard this one... When I was a child, I saw my mother making the brisket for the seder and noticed that she cut the tip off of it. I asked her why, she

IT REALLY DOES EXIST!

2006-07-26T23:43:00.000-04:00

We've all questioned its existence yet are totally convinced of it. I have been stuck for blog posts lately due to summer laziness. Most days, I just want to take the maidels out and enjoy this wonderful weather we've been having (B'H). Recently, I've had an opportunity to get together with a good friend who I haven't seen for a while. Her life is taking her in a different direction (I'Y'H, it's

"Al ha devash v'al ha oketz..."

2006-07-18T21:37:00.000-04:00

In the last couple weeks, I have not been blogging much because I have been job hunting. I have not lost my current position, simply doing a few interviews to check how marketable are my skills. The position in question was as a teacher in an afternoon school; one of the new directors being a former colleague from my training program. For the most part I felt that the interview went well until

"Kosher" means "clean"...

2006-07-09T10:33:00.000-04:00

[Text included here for those who can't read the tiny print.]Bernie: Hi, I'd like to open a kosher franchise of your restaurant. What's involved?Subway rep: Your kosher restaurant must use our menu.Bernie: Menu, check!Subway rep: Your kosher restaurant must use our logo.Bernie: Logo, got it!Subway rep: Your kosher restaurant must be clean.Bernie: Thanks, anyway.and other misinformation.Growing up

Alive and Well (blog roundup)

2006-07-03T08:47:00.000-04:00

I have been bad about posting the past few weeks. I had an opportunity to go with cool yiddish papa and the maidelehs on his business trip. It was a good time to connect with old and new friends (you know who you are) and see some family. I can give some updates on old issues that I've mentioned in previous blogs.bibnis (see "Kol Yisrael" , "Everyone Talks about It", "Rabbanim") got a job! We

How Much Information is TMI?

2006-06-14T22:34:00.000-04:00

In this case, not enough!A few weeks ago, Sephardi Lady wrote in her blog about protecting our children and ourselves from sexual predators. My post today, though, is about whether to accept that a person has made teshuvah or not, but what steps should happen if we are still leary. Every Elul, we evaluate our deeds (or misdeeds) and set upon a path for self-improvement which includes making sure

Sitting on a Picket Fence...

2006-06-09T16:36:00.000-04:00

and boy does my tuchus hurt!Because of the things that I might be talking about in this blog (even without giving names and identifying details) could put me into serious trouble, I am trying my best to withhold actually identifying my name and location on this blog.I have found it necessary, though, to tell my readers where I fall on the "frum spectrum" as a result of a "conversation" on another

From the Wolf..."What Judaism Is About"

2006-06-06T23:49:00.000-04:00

Brooklyn Wolf got a lot of buzz about a recent post. To read, click http://http://wolfishmusings.blogspot.com/2006/05/what-judaism-is-about.html.There are those who feel that the wolf and others like us are speaking lashon hara (or motzi shem ra) about our communities by blogging. Before I started this whole thing, I thought that I was the only one who feels the way that I do.Wolf needed to say

"Charity Begins at Home"

2006-06-01T09:50:00.000-04:00

As with many other areas in the non-profit arena, Jewish educators suffer from lack of funding. Everything seems to be rejected on one simple word: "budget". All year, I have heard this word bantered about, especially when the topic of promoting me has come up. Our Jewish Federation is well-funded, yet seem to have their priorities skewed. They talk a great deal about their Federation missions to

Rabbanim Don't Have All the Answers

2006-05-29T16:38:00.000-04:00

An update on bibnis...he has been following up on the job leads he has been given, but unfortunately, still nowhere to sleep at night. Cool yiddish papa and bibnis were on the phone with more local rabbanim who frankly told them that they had "no idea" what to do about the situation. Aside from a strong job lead (person who can get him a job with his company, no questions asked, but manager won't

Matchmaker, matchmaker...make me a match!

2006-05-24T21:58:00.000-04:00

One area where sh'mirat ha-lashon seems to have its own rules is on the battlegrounds of shiddukhim. I have never been able to understand the concept of "frum dating", but at the same time, I don't (totally) discredit it for those who hold by it. As my regular readers may know, I think that the only reason that I am married is because I met cool yiddish papa before the idea of a frum life was not

"Everyone Talks About It...

2006-05-23T22:10:00.000-04:00

but no one wants to do anything about it."This is a comment that usually refers to the weather. Sadly, though, this time, I am talking about how people will turn their backs on their fellow yidden, yet at the same time, gossip about their tzarot (tzurris, for those who prefer Yiddish).Sh'mirat ha-Lashon (guarding the tongue) is a much-neglected mitzvah in our communities. Perhaps some think that

Lag Ba'Omer meme...I'm IT!

2006-05-18T21:48:00.000-04:00

I had requested Matisyahu's new CD from the library weeks ago and it arrived the week before lag ba'omer. I resisted temptation for the week, and listened to it in the car while in transit. Here's my quick review...Although I am not a fan of reggae, I felt it worth my time to give one of our own his "props" (as the kids say). Some of the songs were quite good (my favorite is his redition of "

On Business Ethics and Halakhah... (b'kitzur)

2006-05-17T00:59:00.001-04:00

While getting acquainted with the blog experience, I have realized that I need to shorten some of my rants if I want people to actually read them. This is a shortened, improved version of an earlier blog. I got into a tangent about FFB vs. BT/gerim, which I will save for another time. In addition, I will also spare my readers the infighting between kipa s'ruga and charedi.One of my disillusions

Kol Yisrael Arevim Zeh Ba-Zeh...

2006-05-16T23:00:00.000-04:00

but do we act like it?More on the saga of the down-on-his-luck fellow yid that the community doesn't seem to care about. Quick recap... eight months ago, he broke his back. He has been out of work for nine months and recently kicked out of his apartment. Some nights, he resorted to sleeping in his car. Others, he has been depending on the couches of strangers and friends.Well, cool yiddish papa (

Weather permitting...

2006-05-15T21:03:00.000-04:00

enjoy your bonfires tomorrow.HAPPY LAG B'OMER!!!Feel free to comment about your celebrations.

Jewish Parent/Jewish Educator

2006-05-14T16:01:00.000-04:00

When I am not being an attentive eema to 2 cool yiddishe maidels, I teach Hebrew and Judaics in a community afternoon school as well as working on my Master's degree in Jewish Education. I look at part of my job as keiruv work because our school is a prominent place for the kids to experience Judaism. In order to pay the operational expenses, we rent our shul space to a small Reform congregation.

On Shidduch Dating...

2006-05-14T00:26:00.000-04:00

Sephardi lady, on her blog, orthonomics, ended up talking about my next issue, shidduch dating. She wrote about the misguided idea of relying on segulot to help find a bashert instead of the "crazy" idea of picking up the phone and asking people out for dates.I agree with her totally. However, not too many people in the frum world are about to do that. I think that extreme male/female segregation

Cool Yiddishe Mama A-Z meme

2006-05-11T11:55:00.000-04:00

Accent: Neutral...but a few people think I sound like a New Yorker, even though born/bred in midwestBooze: good kosher wine (not cough syrup)Chore I hate: Dusting...my kids need places to doodleDogs/Cats: 2 male cats... quite a change as I have always had femalesEssential Electronics: cell phone for keeping in touch and laptop (wherever there's a wi-fi)Favorite Perfume/Cologne: None, due to

On Business Ethics and Halakhah...

2006-05-11T10:27:00.000-04:00

I grew up not frum and chose the observant life when I was in college. Since I am an avowed "foodie", one of the first mitzvot I took on was kashrut. My then-boyfriend, cool yiddish papa (cyp), has had a little more difficulty with the derekh but is going along at his own pace.A few months ago, a friend and I were talking about the plight of ba'alei t'shuvah and gerim. There seems to be a line on

On Being a Jewish Parent...

2006-05-10T22:59:00.000-04:00

It is easy to argue that being any type of parent is difficult in today's unsure world. Our parents seemed to have it easier. The financial concerns I will save for another entry, but for right now, I want to talk about the increasingly common use of halakhah (Jewish law) and calling on the local rabbanim as a shield against our own inability to parent our own children.While my children are too

Welcome to My Blog!

2006-03-28T11:56:00.000-05:00

I've resisted the temptation to become yet another blogger on the 'Net until now. A little bit of my ego-centric side desires to be heard through all the Internet clutter.First, let me tell you a little bit about myself so that you will see where I'll be coming from on my rants.Who is "Cool Yiddishe Mama"?I am a mother of two darling girls and have been married for 8 years. By the end of the