One area where sh'mirat ha-lashon seems to have its own rules is on the battlegrounds of shiddukhim. I have never been able to understand the concept of "frum dating", but at the same time, I don't (totally) discredit it for those who hold by it. As my regular readers may know, I think that the only reason that I am married is because I met cool yiddish papa before the idea of a frum life was not even a glimmer. I am too much of a "rebel" to have been able to fall into this system of sitting by the phone waiting for your beshert to call. [I initiated phone contact with cool yiddish papa and even asked him out for our first "official" date when it was noted by our friends that he liked me, but was too shy to do anything about it.]
Back to sh'mirat ha-lashon and dating. While I feel that a person detached from the situation can sometimes be the best judge, extreme caution must be exercised in order to prevent airing someone's dirty laundry in public. If you have a "bad" date with someone (defined as "lack of chemistry"), feel free to set him up with a friend that you feel might work out better. On the other hand, if the person turned to be a potential ax murderer, feel free to warn the shadchan about your lack of comfort without embarassing him. Please, don't tell the entire community about your date.
Running out of steam tonight and I need to talk to cool yiddish papa, so good night y'all.
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I've taken to asking people that I've set up who didn't want to continue the dating, but who did feel the person was a good person to suggest someone else for them.
ReplyDeleteHopefully this new technique will bare some fruit.