08 July 2007

On Friendship...

To my three readers:

A month and a half ago, after almost two years of feuding with my mother-in-law about this and that, she finally said that she wants us "to be friends". I told that it would not be possible right now because essentially I don't trust her! When cool yiddish papa and I were dating, she engaged in rampant lashon ha-ra about us with her friends (which she blatantly denied after he walked in on a conversation being done ON THE SPEAKERPHONE and USING OUR NAMES). Since we've married and subsequently committed to a halakhic lifestyle, she has "accidentally" taken cool yiddishe maidel out for traife food and suggested car trips on Shabbat. Since telling her that I can't trust her, I have been feeling backlash from family about "daring" to tell her that I don't trust her.

I might be dragging too much about my personal life into blog world, but this topic has been in my head for a while, so read and enjoy!


A real friend will "have your back" and not stab you in it.

Goes hand in hand with respect. Without trust, there really is not a friendship.

The ability to keep a personal confidence
Part of the previous one. Whatever I tell someone should not have to be prefaced by, "do not tell anyone" when it is clear that it is private information.

Be able to rely on their friends in an emergency
Once in a while, not being there for your friends (because you are going through your own thing) is not a sin. However, if I am always being ditched for your own thing, I'll start to wonder...

Will stick by them when the going is rough
This goes with the previous one.

Will be open and honest about their feelings and opinions
If you are my friend, then you should feel the need to tell how you REALLY feel about something to other people, instead of telling everyone but that person. Even if you don't agree, you should feel comfortable enough to say something discreetly.

Be empathetic
You don't have to agree with everything that I do, but you should be able to see my side of it.

If you feel that there is anything to add, please be sure to comment.


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