02 December 2008

Another Shiddukh Test...

Hattip: Frum Satire (This post was inspired by him and a recent conversation with Barak about hamische, aka "frummy" brands and their poor quality.)

A shiddukh "test" also apparently making the rounds involves pantry inspection. It's one thing to judge someone by the hechsherim they use, but something almost surreal to put emphasis on how much poor-quality food people will purchase.

How this works... 

[Buying Israeli like Osem or Elite does not count as "hamische", by the way.]

Choose the brand you would more likely purchase in the store (if given a choice)

Food Column A Column B
Ketchup Heinz/Hunt's Gefen
Mayonnaise Hellman's/Best Foods Unger's
Sandwich Cookies Oreo's Bloomy's
Salad Dressing Ken's Steak House Haddar
Microwave Popcorn Orville Redenbacher Mishpachah
Soy Sauce Kikkoman's Season
Cheddar Cheese Tillamook Miller's
Butter Land o' Lakes Morning Select
Pasta Sauce Barilla Mrs. Adler's
Potato Chips Lay's/Ruffles Lieber's


If you selected Column A, you are not "frum enough" since you give money to goyishe companies. (You should be ashamed of yourselves for daring to buy better quality food.) [However, if you have sons the same age as my daughters, let's talk shiddukh in 20 years! They are beauties, b'li ayin ha-ra and both want to be doctors, so they're smart as well.]

If you selected Column B, you feel you have something to prove to your neighbors. Even if a lot of these companies are goyishe, they cared enough about the kosher consumer to make tasty food accessible to us.


  1. Funny. (except not funny when children [not yours] are being raised that their parents judge people by the hashgacha of the food in their pantry, rather than their middos. This makes me sick [and is an issue that has absolutely nothing to do with you or your blog].

  2. Wow. I guess my kids are gonna make completely traif shidduchim. We use plastic over our tablecloth, non-heimishe brands, and I'm neither rich nor a rabbi.

  3. I work at a charedi school. There's seems to be a lot of talk about middot but there is little to no modeling on the part of the morot. Hashgachot and brands are the least of our problems. We lost the first beit ha-mikdash to avodah zara and the second to sinat chinam. We may never get the third since today's Jews bow to the altar of chumrot (instead of appreciating the beauty of Torah) and encapsulate people under hashkafot.

  4. Those column B items don't even exist here. However, I 100% agree that morot with talk the talk, but not walk the walk when it comes to middot. I think some people need an injection of Ram Dass. More "see the light in each other" forget the nitpicky details.

  5. Kosherspice,

    I totally FORGOT about that manners thing I told you about last week! Thanks for reminding me about another post.

    Cool Yiddishe Mama


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