On Friendship...

To my three readers:

A month and a half ago, after almost two years of feuding with my mother-in-law about this and that, she finally said that she wants us "to be friends". I told that it would not be possible right now because essentially I don't trust her! When cool yiddish papa and I were dating, she engaged in rampant lashon ha-ra about us with her friends (which she blatantly denied after he walked in on a conversation being done ON THE SPEAKERPHONE and USING OUR NAMES). Since we've married and subsequently committed to a halakhic lifestyle, she has "accidentally" taken cool yiddishe maidel out for traife food and suggested car trips on Shabbat. Since telling her that I can't trust her, I have been feeling backlash from family about "daring" to tell her that I don't trust her.

I might be dragging too much about my personal life into blog world, but this topic has been in my head for a while, so read and enjoy!

Loyalty
A real friend will "have your back" and not stab you in it.

Trust
Goes hand in hand with respect. Without trust, there really is not a friendship.

The ability to keep a personal confidence
Part of the previous one. Whatever I tell someone should not have to be prefaced by, "do not tell anyone" when it is clear that it is private information.

Be able to rely on their friends in an emergency
Once in a while, not being there for your friends (because you are going through your own thing) is not a sin. However, if I am always being ditched for your own thing, I'll start to wonder...

Will stick by them when the going is rough
This goes with the previous one.

Will be open and honest about their feelings and opinions
If you are my friend, then you should feel the need to tell how you REALLY feel about something to other people, instead of telling everyone but that person. Even if you don't agree, you should feel comfortable enough to say something discreetly.

Be empathetic
You don't have to agree with everything that I do, but you should be able to see my side of it.

If you feel that there is anything to add, please be sure to comment.

At a Crossroads

I just realized that it has been over 2 months since I last time that I posted, so I guess I should let the blog world know that I am alive and well (B'H).

* Cool Yiddish Papa and I have successfully moved out of our other neighborhood and managed to sell our house (even in this market). While we could have made more of a "profit" by waiting to sell, we decided that our happiness (and cool yiddishe maidel's social life) takes a precedent.

* A month after our move to "the other neighborhood", I met with the new director. I immediately did not like managerial style (more about that another time), and after two months of indecision, I bit the bullet and decided to not renew my contract for this year (without having a job lined up). I have to admit that I am pretty proud of my resignation letter because not only did I tell him that I am not coming back, but I did call into question his techniques.

* I am actively looking for another job, preferably in teaching, but am willing to shift careers if I can find something there. The realities of raising a family today supercede my "selfish" desires to have the career that I want.

* I have also made the decision that I want to take more time for my writing. It is something that I immensely enjoy. Watch soon for my fiction blog as this blog will continue to be essays influenced by real life experiences.

Keep reading as I continue to update my readers (who may have dwindled because I have not been writing).

Help Wanted!

Community after-school Hebrew program is seeking a Hebrew and Judaics studies teacher. Applicants should not be "too religious" and should be willing to step aside should the powers that be determine that you are "not right" for them, despite a successful teaching record and legions of loyal students as well as their families.

Perhaps that is the ad that my school should put in the newspaper. The upside is that the new director would like to place me at another branch of the school with same number of hours, etc. However, the two people who judged me for being "too frum" from DAY ONE have managed to get me out. As I told the director today, "Removing me will not end the problems between them and the school. They have made complaints about every teacher in the school. If I am being sent away, then so should all of them."

The best part is that the director determined that they are "key players" in the school's future, yet they account for 10% of the ENTIRE STUDENT BODY! My boss, at least one colleague, a few parents, and some students have already pledged to go to bat for me. One parent even told me that my being religious was a good thing for her children. They have learned to have pride in their Judaism that was never there.

Wish me luck as coolyiddishemama fights for her job.